So, for instance, I grew up with boys. I have an older brother and my cousins who are closest in age to me were all boys. No biggie, really. I tend to think that my more easy going nature and ability to roll with the punches (both figuratively and literally) comes in part from the growing up with the boys. Lord knows I had my fair share of the teasing thanks to Tripper and Robbie and Johnny. I didn’t have a sister, but I learned the importance of having a good best girlfriend. It still amazes me, though; that the best girlfriends I have now are the same ones I had in middle school, high school and college. With the exception of Sara, who I met right as I was leaving college, I have known the other four girls for the majority of my life. Those of you, who know me very well know that there could have been six, save for a little betrayal that eventually (with much work on both sides) would be patched. That is a whole other story that maybe, someday, I might write about here, but only after I make sure that this friend is okay with it. In the mean time here is a little shout out to my girls and the roles each of the play in my life:
- Gina- who has known me the longest. Gina and I met in some way (most likely at the bus stop which was right at her driveway) normal and sane. I have no idea what it was the started the friendship, but there is not a time where I really remember not being friends with her. Technically we didn’t meet until middle school, but the time before that I must have been perfecting the art of finally trying to be a friend to another girl. Gina’s house was huge- bigger than mine at least, and just around the corner from mine. She had crazy parents, much like I viewed my own crazy parents. Most of all, we liked a lot of the same things that made us somewhat geeky in ways, but mainly we hid that from the world. I remember Gina’s room was super cool and she had a double bed, which I envied. As the world moved on and we became closer, Gina was the friend who would pass notes to the boy I liked (because she was a year older than me and in his grade). She was slightly more adventurous than I was and (in my eyes) far more confident in just about every situation. Gina is the friend we all have who is super cool, super smart, and super nice (an extremely lethal combination when it came to dating!). She was (and still is) the perfect friend. She is the friend we all have who “knew us when” and knows all the dirty little secrets. She’s the one who calls you out on all your crap because she knows the person you started out as, the person you were, the person you are. Mostly, Gina is the one who seems to know the person I might just become should I put a little more effort in and encourages me to be that person. She probably doesn’t even realize it, but she is my first friend I ever really wished with intensity that she could have been my sister. Which is why Gina knew to ask me, on the day of my grandmother’s funeral, where I wanted to go when I decided against following my dad to the grave site. She also knew to simply not ask questions when I said I wanted to go to the mall. It’s only a true friend, a sisterly type love that would understand a bizarre request like that.
- Kim- who is forever my light at the end of the tunnel. Kim and I met while working at the Dairy Queen. The funny thing about Kim is that I will almost always think of her as a pair with Karen. Like a pair of shoes. But Kim came first and that’s why she is second in the list. Kim is one of those rare people who seemed never to really see she was beautiful for such a long time, but never commented on it. She would say she was chubby in high school, but I never saw that. What I saw in Kim was someone who was a ton of fun to work with. Kim and I circulated in different social circles at school, but the DQ was a common ground. Kim always helped to show the brighter side of the situation. She laughs a lot and was the first friend I had who swore once just to make me laugh. The thing about Kim is that we became better friends once we went to college. Kim is one of the few people (along with Gina) who have seen me at my most depressed, sleepless, cranky, and worst ever in my life. Kim was also living with me, sharing a house, the year I was the worst I have ever been. She was the daily reminder that life, although bitter and nasty and mean, would get better with time, I just had to remember to give it that time.
- Karen- who does not mince words and is my ass kicker. Karen was also a DQ friend. She and I really had no common ground except DQ, but that’s what made it great. Karen was my first friend I would actually call rebellious and let’s just remember that I was damn near a goody two shoes in high school, so her “rebellion” was in the eyes of this beholder. Honestly, most of my memories of Karen come from the summer before college and really getting to be better friends with her at Michigan State. Karen is fiercely loyal and thank goodness she is my loyal friend. Karen is the one who had the brilliant idea to have Anne and me room together at MSU my second year. Karen was the person who would verbally kick my ass if I needed it or she would verbally kick someone else’s if they needed it. Karen has also been around when I was at my worst, but instead of being the one to emotionally support me (the job was primarily Gina, Anne, and Kim) Karen was the one who did the ass kicking and encouraged me to as well. Karen was the one who really forced me to see that the betrayal that was happening right then from another friend was not okay and that I needed to speak up. Karen started a letter writing campaign that summer when I was in London to remind me where I came from and I had better come home.
- Anne- who will always be the eternal conductor of my Crazy Train. Anne and I knew each other briefly thanks to (of course) the DQ. We were friends in passing and I later learned that I had helped her through a hard time. I would see Anne once in a while the first year of college because we shared Karen as a common friend. At the end of freshman year it looked like I didn’t have a roommate and Karen suggested Anne, who would be starting her freshman year that fall at MSU. And so we boarded the Crazy Train. Anne was the first friend, since Gina, where I would sit and laugh with her for no reason at all. Living together seemed to cement this with us. Anne and I simply had fun together, watched out for each other, and we make each other laugh hysterically. We were both bizarre and dramatic in the presence of each other and we played off of each other. Anne is the one person in my life who I simply adore making her laugh. She almost dares me to make her laugh with how stupid I can be (which is very). We were FOREVER being asked by our RA in the dorm to stop laughing because it was disturbing the other residents, which would make us laugh even more after he left. Anne became the little sister I never had. To this day, when we talk, I feel like sometimes I am the older sister who can reassure her about some things the same way Gina does that for me. And there will always be the trips to 7-11. Those were the times that made me sure Anne was the other half of my crazy train. I will probably never laugh that hard again.
- Sara- who completes the circle of my friendships. Sara, like all my girls, has characteristics of each. Sara is the friend who listens expertly. Sara is the person I call when all I need to do is just get something off my chest really quick. Sara’s husband is also somewhat like Chris in nature, so we share that connection because the men will each do something very….irritating and Sara will know EXACTLY what I mean because, chances are, Miguel has done exactly the same thing at some point. Sara, like the others, is loyal. I always assumed loyalty just happened in friendships, but it doesn’t. It just happened that loyalty became a very important quality to me throughout college. Sara is fiercely loyal, much like Karen. Sara, along with Gina, taught me truly to communicate with friends. If, for instance, a friend mistakenly hurt your feelings you have to say something if it bothers you. That was hard to learn, but she helped to teach me that. Finally, Sara is one of the few friends I have who came along after high school and near the end of college. It just seems to me we don’t make as many “good” friends after that college time as we make in high school or college. She was my first friend outside of the comfort zone of college and high school.
So there you have it. A (long coming) salute to the women who are close enough to be my sisters. This also comes on the heels of finding out last night (I hope Anne doesn’t kill me for blabbing this on my blog) that Anne got engaged to her boyfriend, Woody! The last of my original friend group is getting married. I nearly cried when Gina got married- I was overjoyed. With Anne, I couldn’t stop laughing. I am nearly giddy with joy for her because of all she has been through. I hope Woody knows what a gem he is really getting, but I’m sure he does.
No comments:
Post a Comment