A slight shift forward

Do you ever stop and wonder what it would be like if your family (extended, not nuclear) actually thought of you as an adult instead of the kid you once were? I do. A couple weeks ago my cousin and his wife were in town and they called my mom to try and set up a time when we could all get together. Considering that my schedule (with my second job on the weekends) was the one that created the most conflict, you would think they would call me directly. Well, that and the fact that the getting together was supposed to be because they couldn't make it to my wedding. Well, they didn't call me (which was totally fine) and we never got together before they left town. I think part of the reason was that we couldn't go to church with them (they are very devout) and therefore they just didn't bother to call my mom back. I don't know.

It got me thinking, though. I mean, I am the youngest out of the first group of kids to be born in the family. There are about 7 or so years in between me and then beginning of the second group of kids born. I still feel like I am treated like a child by some of my relatives. For instance- when my aunt, uncle and grandparents decided they couldn't make it to the wedding they e-mailed my mom. Okay, so the part about it being an e-mail totally begs for comment, but I won't be mean or bitchy. The fact that they didn't call me directly is what is weird to me. It just makes me feel even more like a kid when the fact is that I am 29 freaking years old and I just got married. You can't call me? I'm not the little kid I was! It's just odd...

One of my friends wanted to know if I even felt the littlest shift since getting married. I guess I kind of do. I mean, beyond some family still treating me like the baby, most of them treat Chris and me as full on adults now. Mostly I noticed that it just makes me smile to be able to call Chris my husband. I like the feeling it gives me to know that, even though we have always been in it together, now there are rings involved and it's legally binding us. Mainly, though, I like the shift in possibilities: Looking forward to new traditions, buying a house some day, having kids eventually.

Here's what marriage is like for me: You're standing in a museum looking at a wonderful painting. The painting is beautiful and has goodness. There are paths that are darkened, though. Mainly, the painting really is something to behold. And then, one day you find yourself standing inside that painting and it is so much deeper than you could see on the surface from the museum. There's just so much more to it- both good and bad. But I look right next to me and there's my husband and I actually get to share this painting with him. Knowing that means that I know it will all be okay in the end- darkened paths and all. To borrow from what our officiant said in our ceremony: "Love can turn a meal into a banquet." That's the shift I feel, Karen. Just so you know...it may be little, but it's there.