The Little Dear Strikes Again

So this past Friday, Dear, struck again. I haven't talked about him in a while because, well we tracked out for three weeks mainly. When we got back I started him on a daily contract to make sure he stayed on task, responsible, and what not. Basically he can earn 25 points a week- 5 per day based on three main criteria: Behavior (1 pt.), following Directions (2 pts.) and Responsibility for his learning (2 pts). Now, the theory is that if he can take care of the latter two, the former will fall into place. That's the theory and it isn't perfect.

He did okay for a bit, but then Friday came around. Actually, Dear was okay for most of the day. I found myself having to say his name a lot. "Dear, please stop." That was the most commonly heard thing. The other kids seem to get the vibe on the days where he isn't going to be a decent kid. It's like they have a secret Spidey Sense about it (forgive me, I just caught up with about 6 of my Ultimate Spider Man comics....thank you, Chris). At any rate, they do sense it. And it is almost as if they start to read exactly how close he is to ruining their day and mine thanks to his behavior. Friday he was pushing my limits. By the time Math rolled around at 1:30 I was thinking I was in the home stretch. We have been practicing long division and the kids had 12 problems to do Thursday night. Well, with only 12 kids that meant each kid could do one problem on the board. One of the goals I have to assess is that they can divide AND explain how they did it. A big thing I stress is that if you get it wrong, then you need to rewrite the problem CORRECTLY. God forbid we learn from our mistakes, though.

So, over a period of 20 minutes, I ask the Dear 4 times if he is making corrections. FOUR TIMES!! That is like every five minutes on average. Why am I asking him this so many times? Well because every time I look away to help someone as they are working he is knocking his pen on the floor or talking to the kid next to him or making faces. My patience is running very short at this. I stress to the class how important it is to make corrections. I see that he is not doing his. I am not happy. Finally, when all problems have been corrected and the last four on the board have explained I give the homework they need to do over the weekend- 9 problems. Now, I don't like to give homework over the weekend, but this is the end of the second nine weeks and we have tons to get in before I have to have report cards done a week from this coming Friday. I HAVE to get this division unit done and it includes them practicing so they can pass a test on it next Monday. So, the kids have 15 minutes to start early on the assignment), but I ask Dear for the last time if he finished making corrections. He looks at me, like I must be crazy, and says: "Nope." GRRRRRR!!

This is where it began. I made him do corrections on the last four problems. He starts to realize that he won't get an early start on homework and he is pissed. I am getting very short tempered with him for messing around through math. He is quickly turning into a 3 year old in his attitude. As the kids work I am filling out their weekly review sheet (they have to grade themselves on how they did in different areas for the week, talk about one goal they achieved this week and one goal for next week). I sometimes write in the goal for next week for them, which is what I was doing. I hand Dear his sheet and he snatches it from my hands, fills it out and hands it back. EXCEPT he hasn't filled in one thing he achieved this week. I ask him to please do it (and I did say please). He says he can't think of anything- which is such crap. He is basically testing me. I say fine, I'll fill it in for you (this is a battle I don't really care to enter into). As I announce to get packed up for the day and get ready for recess I ask Dear where the daily contract is....and this is where it got UGLY.

He says- in the very angry little boy voice- it is in his bag. I tell him he needs to fill it out. He half whines, half growls that he doesn't know what to put and No, he won't fill it out. I ask him to go get the contract. He does and shoves it at me. This is the point where I can no longer be the nice teacher. I am not going to take the tantrum of a fifth grader who, thanks to his own asinine behavior, is in this spot where he has math homework and didn't do his corrections. I tell him he needs to fill it out and that it is his responsibility. He takes it from me (red faced and near to melting down) and mumbles unpleasant things. I have everyone else lined up. He suddenly comes up (I can tell this is going to be a fun moment, because he has the look of a challenge to me on his face), shoves the contract at me and gets in line. I look at the paper and it has NOTHING. "Dear," I say "You need to fill this out, please." The kids have their spidey sense on and are trying to pretend like they are not listening, but they are. "NO." Okay....so this is the point in which I turn into a MAJOR hard ass. Most of you know me and I am not a mean person by nature, but I have zero tolerance for a whole day of this and the attitude of a 10 year old who is at fault and just being a little.....you know what.

"Dear, please step outside with me for a moment."
"NO!"
"Fine, you want to do this in front of the class? Here are your two choices and listen up- You either step outside and talk to me or you can step you behind into Ms. Hargrove's office and explain exactly what your little problem is to her. YOUR CHOICE."

Okay- so he steps outside and IMMEDIATELY busts out into tears! GAH GAH GAH!! I tell the rest of the class to do some mundane task, like put up all the chairs and pick up the floor. I try to comfort Dear by telling him I know he is frustrated, but the corrections were something he needed to do and I asked him four times to do them. It keeps sliding down hill and my temper is starting to kick in. I can't not stand people who refuse to take responsibility for themselves and expect that the people around them need to change just for them. I especially can not stand this when it is a kid being this way and he has gotten away with it for so long with so many other people. It also breaks my heart to know that, although I may help Dear along the way this year, he will most likely be eaten alive in middle school next year. At any rate, he is sobbing and it all boils down to two things: 1) he knows he has been a complete ass and the whole math problem thing is his own fault, though he will not say so; this means he feels so sorry for himself that he does not want to evaluate himself for the daily contract. 2) He is mad because he has homework over the weekend and (according to him) this is simply not fair and I need to change it.

After trying to talk some sense into him I simply left him in the empty classroom next to me, sent my other students (who have lost 10 minutes of recess thanks to him), tell the AG teacher across the hall what the deal is and to please keep an eye on him. Dear ends up staying in for recess to start the homework (which I don't think he did). I write an extensive note home explaining that math was frustrating and he had a melt down. He and I discussed and could Mom please re-enforce to her son that there is no law that states that a teacher can not give homework over a weekend. We all need to practice.

Here is the main point (other than to vent about the kid, who was so much better today you would almost not believe it was the same kid)- last year I would have been so worried about what would happen when he took everything home and told his side of the story to mom that I would lose sleep over it. I would be worried that Mom would call the school and complain and I would get a severe lecture and torn apart. THIS YEAR, I don't care. I mean, I do, but I don't worry like that. You see, I knew I was right. I wrote the account of the whole thing right away and made sure it was on something that Mom had to sign and return. Not only that, but even if she did call the school- this year I know that the "powers that be" wouldn't automatically side with the parent.

And I will say it again- after a day like Friday, it is still nice to think back to Wednesday to Landon and know that I have done a good job. I have students whose lives are a little better after having me as a teacher. My goal- to get Dear to the end of this school year without me actually giving in and yelling at him and to the point where maybe he won't get eaten alive in middle school.