Day Five

I picked up Natalie Goldberg's Writing Down the Bones tonight. I have two copies. The first one is normal sized and I bought it way back when I was in college and it was required for a creative writing class. The one sitting next to me, currently, is a little pocket sized version. I'm not big on pocket size anything- I like things to be bigger because I hate little tiny print. But the pocket one is handy and it was free (thanks to the NCCAT people). I am so out of practice with writing that it is increasingly hard to write. Once I get past the bump in the road and become more disciplined about it, I know that things (in general, but not always) will be a bit easier. So, I went to Ms. Goldberg's book to get some ideas for a topic. I ended up talking about something I love:

I could taste them before I even entered the house-

Cookies. Chocolate Chip

Made with Wheaties and real shortening,

I watch, amazed, as she uses her hands

To stir the flour, baking soda, and salt together.

Those hands, how they soothed me over the years,

I can see their age now.

I stir the butter and sugar together, waiting…

We could talk, but there’s work to be done.

The recipe card on the counter

Even though she never looks at it-

I wish I knew how to make these cookies

Without a second guess

I watch her hand for the signs:

Weakness, loss of strength,

Unable to fully grasp-

Today I see none of it.

Just before we are ready to add the Wheaties

I think, maybe I could just tell her

My quick intake of breath

Her glance over shows me she’s listening

And I can’t- I shake my head because

Saying something will break the spell she cast

We put the first batch in the oven, wash our hands,

I wait for my favorite part, without fail it comes

She puts her arm around my waist

And gives a squeeze.

I almost whisper it-

“This is my favorite thing in the whole world.”

Nothing about time, love, missing, wishing…

She knows, she smiles and gives me an extra squeeze.